Tag Archives: children

18 Hilarious Times Fathers Had Absolutely No Idea How To Dad

Fathers get a pretty bad rap for their infamously bad “dad jokes.”

While their humor makes us cringe from embarrassment, their judgement when they’re just trying do their job…y’know, be dads, might actually be more amusing.

Take these photos as hilarious evidence that sometimes, fathers just don’t know how to dad.

1. He didn’t know that overalls aren’t meant to be worn topless.

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2. These totally match…

3. No, tights aren’t pants, despite what this father and tween girls will try to tell you.

4. Isn’t the point of onesies that you don’t need other clothing on top?

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5. The hair gel and no-shirt combo is too much. I can’t.

6. He was too busy filming to actually catch him.

7. I’m pretty sure that’s not how it goes.

8. “Wearing things backwards is all the rage”…is what this dad probably said.

9. Let’s hope he’s not in charge of talking about the birds and the bees.

10. Ready for swim class? Check.

11. This dad got confused and put both legs into one pant leg.

12. Dad tried to make her swimsuit more fashion forward. Dad failed.

13. When mom’s away dad will…use a zip tie to do a ponytail.

14. That hat? Yeah, those are shorts.

15. A for effort on that sun block application job.

16. Rompers are annoying when you have to go to the bathroom…or when dad tries to put them on.

17. “So you’re telling me the tie goes in the front?”

18. No…just…just no.

One thing I’ve learned? Dads definitely shouldn’t be allowed to put clothing on their kids…unless, of course, you’re looking for a good laugh.

This Dad Asked His Little Kids What They Thought About Presidential Candidates

I remember the carefree days when I was a kid…but only vaguely.

I didn’t have to worry about politics, war, or really anything on the news other than those segments that featured cute newborn pandas. Life was good.

Whether or not you allow your kids to be more involved with current events, sometimes it’s hard to shield them from everything. And since children are basically like adorable sponges when it comes to absorbing information, you’re fighting an uphill battle when it comes to them remembering something they overheard.

When this dad asked his kids some questions about a certain Presidential candidate, their responses were kind of hilarious.

I do remember thinking everyone older than me at that age was 200, too.

Do you let your kids watch the news if they express an interest in it or do you try to shield them until they’re older?

This Guy Made An Awesome Sandbox With Benches For His Kids

Growing up, my sandbox was a backyard oasis where I could truly escape the stresses of being a kid, while simultaneously exploring my creative side.

There were only ever two downsides to spending all day, every day in my sandbox: the uncomfortable feeling of having sand in every nook and cranny and keeping wildlife from taking up shelter in it.

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Luckily, Reddit user darwin_thornberry has found a way to solve both problems. He built an awesome sandbox for his children with collapsible benches that also serve as a lid. This design is so cool, it only makes me more jealous that someone didn’t think of it sooner.

He began by assembling a wooden base with plenty of room for sand.

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Next, he laid out a series of two-by-fours that he would eventually transform into two benches.

He added sets of hinges that would allow the wooden boards to serve a double purpose.

With the bench seats completed, he began work on the back supports.

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To make the benches fully collapsible, he needed to add more hinges to the back supports.

With both benches finished, the sandbox was mostly complete. All that was left to do was put it in place and add sand.

Now darwin_thornberry‘s kids have an amazing spot to play without getting sand in…uncomfortable places.

Plus, they can keep all kinds of critters out with the collapsible seats that double as a lid!

Oh the things I would have done for a backyard box like this when I was little! For the full instructions, click here.

Crack dealer released early gets death penalty for killing three

President Obama has made it clear that one of the priorities of his final year in office will becriminal justice reform. Last summer, he became the first sitting president to visit a federalprison, theEl Reno Federal Correctional Institution in Oklahoma, where he granted clemency to dozens of non-violent inmates.

Dozens is nothing. When new retroactivefederal sentencing reductions went into effect last fall, more than 6,000 non-violent drug offenders were released. As the president explained, too many non-violent offenders were locked up, andtheir makeup was “disproportionately black and Latino.”

Judicial Watch reports today that one non-violent drug offender who benefited from early release, 35-year-old Wendell Callahan, now faces the death penalty for fatally stabbinghis ex-girlfriend and her two children, ages 7 and 10, “to eliminate them as witnesses” to their mother’s murder.

Judicial Watch reports:

Callahan should have been in jail when the crimes occurred, but he was released four years early because federal sentencing guidelines for crack dealers got reduced. The change is part of President Obamas effort to reform the nations justice system as a way of ending racial discrimination. The initiative was technically launched back in 2010 when the president signed a measure that for the first time in decades relaxed drug-crime sentences he claimed discriminated against poor and minority offenders. This severely weakened a decades-old law enacted during the infamous crack cocaine epidemic that ravaged urban communities nationwide in the 1980s. As part of the movement the U.S. Sentencing Commission lowered maximum sentences for drug offenders and made it retroactive, leading to the early release of thousands of violent thugs like Callahan.

Here are some older tweets to provide context.

This week, a grand jury returned a 10-count indictment against Callahan which calls for the death penalty unless someone intervenes and commutes his sentence.

Is anyone else reminded of the consequences of San Francisco’s compassionate“sanctuary city” policy for the late Kate Steinle?

You’ll Never Believe What Fell Out Of The Back Of This Van On The Highway

Driving on the highway is incredibly dangerous. It’s insane that we all get from point A to point B safely as often as we do. When you think about the fact that we regularly drive giant hunks of dangerous machinery at high speeds, it all seems pretty crazy.

But on this Chinese highway, things got even more dangerous than usual one day. People were driving behind this van in Suzhou when all of a sudden, the rear door opened and a toddler fell out. The driver of the car was the child’s grandfather, and he had no idea what happened. Check out the startling footage below.

Apparently, the grandfather had the boy in the passenger seat, but he managed to squirm into the back. The rear hatch was broken, so the little one was able to open it.

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(via BuzzFeed)

How scary is that? Thankfully, the boy was saved and no one was harmed. Judging by the little guy’s reaction, he was more confused than traumatized.

Horrifying Things Your Children Could Accidentally Swallow. Hello, Paranoia!

There are labels on almost everything you buy (especially from Ikea), warning you the product contains small objects. Said products usually warn you not to let small children swallow those pieces. The typical response would be, “Yeah! I mean, obviously, right?”

When you have kids, though, you realize that when your children have insatiable hunger for small things, they can (and probably will) choke on them. Don’t freak out, though. Even though your little ones will try their hardest to choke on these things, we’re here to help you avoid the panic attacks.

1.) Pins and Nails: These small but sharp objects can puncture your kids intestinal lining. Very dangerous, like throwing-up-blood dangerous.

2.) Chicken Bones: Similar to pins, these bones can sometimes be sharp on the end and actually pierce the gut.

3.) Hair: Chewing on hair may seem like a harmless habit for a child, but sometimes the hair can coagulate in the stomach and the only way it can be removed is by surgery.

4.) Jewelry: Again, small, sharp, and possibly deadly. Jewelry also has the added threat of being super shiny and much like leprechauns, kids have an affinity for shiny things.

5.) Wire: Sure you’re little munchkin isn’t gonna eat the whole spoon, but if he eats a little piece it’s gonna really tear him up inside.

6.) Buttons: I think the peril with these things stems from the fact that they’re everywhere. Unless you’re kid only wears gym tees (nothing wrong with keeping it casual when you’re two!) you should keep an eye on the number of buttons on your guy’s shirt.

7.) Magnets: If the parts of a magnet break up with in the body they can attract each other and create holes in the stomach walls.

8.) Coins: Classic. Unless you’re short on change, chances are your kid can get to these fairly easily. Make sure to keep your coins up high, or you could spend a crap-ton on medical bills in addition to the nickel Susie decided to eat.

9.) Boogers: Hey man, we all did some things we weren’t proud of in pre-k. But it’s best to cure your kids of this habit or else it could get pretty hazardous for your whole family during cold season.

10.) Batteries: Mainly batteries for watches. Although my son has an appetite and I wouldn’t put it past him to pop some C batteries for dessert.

11.) Pills: The Bertie Botts Every Flavor Beans of hazardous child swallowing incidents. Who knows what “flavor” your child will get. Heart medicine? Viagra? I shutter to think…

12.) Alcohol: You might not realize it, but alcohol is everywhere. Not only that, but it’s often hidden in brightly-colored drinks. Please drink responsibly around your baby. (Preferably not at all.)

I know you feel like you’ve already been properly warned about these things, but as a parent myself I couldn’t help but give everyone another nervous reminder. Do with it what you will, but I for one would prefer my kids to still have the breath in them for at least a couple more years.

 

He Explained What Snow Was To This Little Girl, And Her Reaction Is Hysterical

Even as toddlers, we learn so much about the intricacies of this planet. Gravity sucks, food is good, and things can disappear and reappear through the magic incantation of “peek-a-boo!”

But when one little girl was told by her dad that snow comes from the sky…well, it was just too absurd for her to handle! “Daddy is funny!” she said, disparaging her father as the Catholic Church once did Galileo. Even Mom seemed to find the notion daffy, and she quickly joined in on the giggling.

Now that I’m thinking about it, she might have a point. You’re telling me that clouds create billions of dandruff-like flakes out of ice, and each flake is completely unique? That sounds like a dumb idea, even for Dad!

7 Easy Scientific Experiments You Should Do With Your Child

Simple ways to make your kid go “ooh” and learn something at the same time. With thanks to the Royal Institution.

1. Making giant bubbles.

Royal Institution / YouTube / Via rigb.org

British schools are on half term next week, so your child will be at home, getting under your feet. Here are six simple experiments which you can do with ordinary household objects which should keep them occupied, but, crucially, may actually teach them how to think and act as scientists, as well.

2. Making wine glasses sing.

Royal Institution / YouTube / Via rigb.org

These experiments have been put together by the Royal Institution, which is trying to encourage British children to get more involved with science. “There’s obviously loads of ‘science at home with your kids’ stuff on the internet,” says Alom Shaha, a physics teacher and one of the brains behind the idea, “but ours shows parents how they can help their children to start looking closely at the world and asking appropriate questions, taking a scientific approach and making it more than just the ‘wow’ factor of making a wine glass sing.”

3. Making balloon car racers.

Royal Institution / YouTube / Via rigb.org

This is a demonstration of Newton’s Third Law – “For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction” – through the deceptively simple tools of a balloon and some cardboard. “These are brilliant fun to make,” says Alom, “and they introduce one of the most important pieces of physics you’ll learn at school.”

4. Making music from coat hangers.

Royal Institution / YouTube / Via rigb.org

You need to do this one at home yourself to get the full effect. “This includes a natural phenomenon that is genuinely surprising if you haven’t tried it before,” says Alom. “It’s a great way to introduce some key ideas about the physics of sound.”

5. Making colours run.

Royal Institution / YouTube / Via rigb.org

Paper chromatography is a powerful scientific tool, and this simple experiment teaches children the basics of it. “There’s a magic moment in the film where a young girl works out for herself that it can be used as a tool for detective work,” says Alom.

6. Making towers out of spaghetti and marshmallows.

Royal Institution / YouTube / Via rigb.org

What shapes are strongest? How should you best use materials? “This is a brilliant way to get children thinking about how and why buildings and bridges and other structures are built,” says Alom, “and to discover some key engineering ideas for themselves.”

7. Making a raw egg bounce.

Royal Institution / YouTube / Via rigb.org

A demonstration of basic chemistry: How, even though they may look the same, different liquids can have very different effects. What happens to an egg in vinegar is particularly impressive to kids: “SQUIDGY!”

A Handy Dad Shows Us How To Make A Simple Playhouse From Pallets — Awesome!

Getting your kids to go outside and play can be like pulling teeth.

Unless you have a sweet swing set, a cool pool, or some awesome outdoor toys, they’re more likely to want to stay indoors where there’s no dirt and plenty of snacks.

So how do you get them outdoors without physically locking them out for a few hours in the afternoon? (By the way, never do that!)

Well, one dad came up with a genius idea that involved just a few wooden pallets and two days of work. Get ready to be jealous of his parenting skills…

It’s great that he made this bare bones so that his kids can grow into it, decorate the house, and add to the space however they want.

What a fun, quick project! So, what are you waiting for? Time to start hoarding pallets!

When This Little Boy Thought He Was Getting In Trouble, He Froze With Fear

Remember that terrifying feeling of being in trouble when you were a kid? That was the scariest thing of all, because letting Mom and Dad down (and getting caught) was completely awful.

But when this little boy gets in trouble, he doesn’t contest it. He just freezes in fear, and it’s super adorable. Even Mom can’t help but giggle!

I hope this boy doesn’t get in trouble too often, otherwise he could be frozen for a long time! That wouldn’t be good for anyone.