Ace of Spades shreds John Kerry’s lame French, swooning lapdog Rick Klein

http://twitter.com/#!/AceofSpadesHQ/status/306890825961451520

To whose bragging is he referring? Oh, the hilarity that is known as the Secretary of Dunce, John Kerry. Secretary of State Kerry let the French fly today.

Jenjhis. RT @ap: Parlez-vous? Sprechen Sie? Multilingual Kerry charms French, German hosts with knowledge of their languages.

— Cuffé (@CuffyMeh) February 27, 2013

breaking news: John Kerry is free to speak French! #LiberatedasSecretaryofState

— Kathryn Jean Lopez (@kathrynlopez) February 27, 2013

Or, really, the French-ish. Media, of course, swooned.

Parlez-vous? Sprechen Sie? Multilingual Kerry charms French, German hosts with knowledge of their languages: apne.ws/12bpxtV -MM

— The Associated Press (@AP) February 27, 2013

How is John Kerry’s French? Pas mauvais. (Not bad). And @oknox would know! news.yahoo.com/blogs/ticket/j… via @yahoonews

— Rick Klein (@rickklein) February 27, 2013

Kerry speaks — en français: The new secretary of state shows off his language skills ow.ly/i71Yh

— Donovan Slack (@DonovanSlack) February 27, 2013

Non-lapdogs weren’t so impressed.

Politico thinks the fact that John Kerry spoke a sentence of French while in France is news article worthy. They could make a movie on me!!

— Mary Devlin (@maryhelenad) February 27, 2013

OMG John Kerry’s French Sucks Worse Than Mine weeklystandard.com/blogs/john-ker…(Gravement Vous Mecs)

— DepressiveBlogger69 (@AceofSpadesHQ) February 27, 2013

This is him fucking showng off?Are you kidding me?

— DepressiveBlogger69 (@AceofSpadesHQ) February 27, 2013

Zut alors!

John Kerry est, etait et toujours ai ete un idiot et un homme semblait l’air d’intelligent

— DepressiveBlogger69 (@AceofSpadesHQ) February 27, 2013

I meant a ete and I’m sure that’s not the only mistake.

— DepressiveBlogger69 (@AceofSpadesHQ) February 27, 2013

Big notch on his belt was speaking 8th-grade level french, huh?

— DepressiveBlogger69 (@AceofSpadesHQ) February 27, 2013

DID ANY REPORTER ACTUALLY FLUENT IN FRENCH PROBE JOHN KERRY’S CLAIM TO SPEAK THE LANGUAGE? EVER?

— DepressiveBlogger69 (@AceofSpadesHQ) February 27, 2013

est-ca vous etes sourde au bete?Cet homme parle francais comme un enfant avec un trouble de l’apprentissage

— DepressiveBlogger69 (@AceofSpadesHQ) February 27, 2013

But, he can totally tell you where the library is, you guys. “Où est la bibliothèque?” Kerry is on it.

More Twitter users mock the highly mockable Kerry.

.@aceofspadeshq It appears to have been written by someone with two semesters and a French/English dictionary. The last line made me cringe

— aThirdOfDuane (@aThirdOfDuane) February 27, 2013

“Americans have a right to be stupid” (John Kerry) RT @drudge_report: John Kerry turns French… drudge.tw/Y0VBIw

— Mathieu von Rohr (@mathieuvonrohr) February 27, 2013

He’s the Inspector Clousseau of French spks MT @aceofspadeshq If John Kerry “speaks French,” we have a lot of graduates of the 8th grade

— David Jack Smith (@davidjacksmith) February 27, 2013

@aceofspadeshq John Kerry has Google Translate level French

— @EricArsenal (@EricArsenal) February 27, 2013

For future reference, all future tweets on John Kerry should come with a french “Barf Alert” translation. — “Vomir Alerte’”

— Nachumlist.com (@Nachumlist) February 27, 2013

“How do you say, pompous gasbag in French?” – Weasel Zippers fb.me/19GA0I5mS

— Cindy Wood Wilkerson (@wilkie4) February 27, 2013

So far on Kerry’s tour: in Berlin, says Americans have right to be stupid. In Paris, says if he speaks too much French won’t be allowed home

— Edward-Isaac Dovere (@IsaacDovere) February 27, 2013

Yep, he said that. Oh, if only we had that option, Mr. Kerry!

Ace continues with the glorious drubbing.

If John Kerry “speaks French,” we have a lot of graduates of the 8th grade who are similarly “French speakers.” Many millions.

— DepressiveBlogger69 (@AceofSpadesHQ) February 27, 2013

@bradthor @brian_sack On parle de planche à voile (<<surfer>> par le vent) d’Massacuhussetts.

— DepressiveBlogger69 (@AceofSpadesHQ) February 27, 2013

John Kerry — Master of the Present Indicative Tense

— DepressiveBlogger69 (@AceofSpadesHQ) February 27, 2013

John Kerry can tell you “This is a pretty pencil” in three languages.

— DepressiveBlogger69 (@AceofSpadesHQ) February 27, 2013

John Kerry, is that a big house?Oh, Yes yes, that house is very big.

— DepressiveBlogger69 (@AceofSpadesHQ) February 27, 2013

Secretaire Kerry, is this a blue dog? –But no, this dog is not blue. This dog is brown.

— DepressiveBlogger69 (@AceofSpadesHQ) February 27, 2013

I see no problem with John Kerry conducting negotiations in French so long as the terms of the deal involve pens, dogs, houses, and friends

— DepressiveBlogger69 (@AceofSpadesHQ) February 27, 2013

And the main issues are “What color are these simple objects?” and “are these objects nice or bad?”

— DepressiveBlogger69 (@AceofSpadesHQ) February 27, 2013

Today, Secretary of State John Kerry won a critical negotiating point with the French Ambassador. They jointly agreed “We like the films.”

— DepressiveBlogger69 (@AceofSpadesHQ) February 27, 2013

@exjon John Kerry appoints to the position of Senior Attache to France, Miss Piggy.

— DepressiveBlogger69 (@AceofSpadesHQ) February 27, 2013

@exjon La bibli est a cote l’U.

— DepressiveBlogger69 (@AceofSpadesHQ) February 27, 2013

John Kerry Proclaims:I am liking the singing of the songs of Rock

— DepressiveBlogger69 (@AceofSpadesHQ) February 27, 2013

And we are loving the slinging of the slams of hilarity. Even if some of it is in fancy pants French. More, s’il vous plaît!

Update: The shredding continues. Paging Rick Klein!

.@rickklein what’s your fluency levei in French, as you’re claiming you can give Kerry a “not bad” rating in the language?

— DepressiveBlogger69 (@AceofSpadesHQ) February 27, 2013

.@rickklein rates Kerry’s French: Une vivant organisme. La chambre, l’homme, le discours – comme celui-ci.

— DepressiveBlogger69 (@AceofSpadesHQ) February 27, 2013

(that’s a google attempt to translate his infamous gushing on Clinton — “the room, the man, the speech — One.”)

— DepressiveBlogger69 (@AceofSpadesHQ) February 27, 2013

Yes. As Twitchy readers know, he did that. He also squeed over “Obama rising above – disdaining the process – and trying to make the choices bigger, not smaller.”

@aceofspadeshq Kerry’s speech was a living, breathing organism. The countries, languages, one. @rickklein

— John Ekdahl, Jr. (@JohnEkdahl) February 27, 2013

.@rickklein, what’s your basis for rendering a presumably-expert opinion on his fluency?

— DepressiveBlogger69 (@AceofSpadesHQ) February 27, 2013

seriously do you speak French?@rickklein?At what level?Kerry’s?

— DepressiveBlogger69 (@AceofSpadesHQ) February 27, 2013

I’m sick to death of this constant fucking puffery by media know-nothings on behalf of their fave-rave liberal crushes.

— DepressiveBlogger69 (@AceofSpadesHQ) February 27, 2013

.@dcdude1776 yeah I love that — “I’ll now speak in English because otherwise Americans might be too BLOWN AWAY by my mastery of French.”

— DepressiveBlogger69 (@AceofSpadesHQ) February 27, 2013

He’s going to speak in English because otherwise Americans would be annoyed… not because he only memorized those ten lines.

— DepressiveBlogger69 (@AceofSpadesHQ) February 27, 2013

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