Monthly Archives: May 2016

: What would happen if Cher’s family ‘produced a T-Bagger’?

http://twitter.com/#!/cher/status/362143905845747712

We weren’t really wondering what would happen if a T-Bagger was born into Clan Cher, but since when has that stopped her from weighing in? Now we know what would happen to “it.”

Not only would said “T-Bagger” be an only child (because, you know, cooties), but Cher might go on a RaMPaGe!2111!!! like when her mom “LOST HER MIND” and went to the dark side.

http://twitter.com/#!/cher/status/362145347524505600

Related:

Full Twitchy coverage of Cher

Boulder, Waldo floods wreak havoc; Obama declares federal emergency [photos]

http://twitter.com/#!/markknoller/status/378361017577000960

As Twitchy has been reporting all day and night today, Colorado was hit with treacherous rains in Boulder and Colorado Springs. The Boulder and Waldo Canyon floods have claimed a total of four lives so far. Overnight, evacuations took part in both parts of the state. Road closures left many stranded, unable to get home (including Twitchy CEO Michelle Malkin).

http://twitter.com/#!/michellemalkin/status/378341113309851648

Homes were flooded. Highways wrecked. Mudslides endangered commuters and residents. President Obama declared an emergency in the state and approved federal aid. Affected residents and local officials used social media to share photos, organize community help, and keep everyone updated on conditions.

Just before midnight, a massive “wall of water” was headed toward Boulder.

http://twitter.com/#!/BoulderOEM/status/378389713985744896
http://twitter.com/#!/mitchellbyars/status/378393319333588992
http://twitter.com/#!/JuggleGod/status/378397246103904257
http://twitter.com/#!/bouldercolorado/status/378387407281721344
http://twitter.com/#!/jennyjenjen/status/378394411186413569

http://twitter.com/#!/JonStoneNews/status/378398059270389760

Photos from a bit earlier tonight around Boulder, Longmont, and Estes Park:

http://twitter.com/#!/DispatchDemon/status/378391346131632128
http://twitter.com/#!/nealhenderson/status/378363160723333120
http://twitter.com/#!/markhamconnolly/status/378394751197650945
http://twitter.com/#!/coloradowx/status/378386189121634304

Meanwhile, on the west side of Colorado Springs and Manitou:

http://twitter.com/#!/ChristineKKTV/status/378377162077663232
http://twitter.com/#!/ChristineKKTV/status/378388504587161600
http://twitter.com/#!/NikkiWarner_/status/378375610264850432
http://twitter.com/#!/keitoness/status/378347052050022401
http://twitter.com/#!/EPCSheriff/status/378373915900260353

Twitchy will continue to monitor and update. Prayers up for Colorado!

http://twitter.com/#!/McKynnaLorraine/status/378397660211732481

Updates 12:50am Mountain/2:50am Eastern:

http://twitter.com/#!/cbklein121/status/378407523226632193
http://twitter.com/#!/mitchellbyars/status/378407196452601856
http://twitter.com/#!/jeantabaka/status/378411264562585600

Boulder. Sigh.

http://twitter.com/#!/nabbott/status/378411280937136128

And in Colorado Springs:

http://twitter.com/#!/AdamAtchison/status/378406886447382528
http://twitter.com/#!/kktv11news/status/378405488611696640
http://twitter.com/#!/RBeckCO/status/378368623901179904
http://twitter.com/#!/CSPDPIO/status/378383020191121408

Previous:

Fresh concerns about flooding in El Paso County, Colo. [photos]

‘Something wicked this way comes’: Flash floods in Manitou Springs create freakish storm monster [pics, video]

‘Not smart’: Life-threatening #BoulderFlood? Boulder college students go tubing ; Update: Three flood-related deaths

George H.W. Bush tweets pic, honors military; ‘Cutest former president’?

http://twitter.com/#!/GeorgeHWBush/status/423861540341547009

Amen.

As Twitchy reported, the Blue Angels tweeted out that photo last week. On Thursday, President George H.W. Bush proudly tweeted it out as well.

http://twitter.com/#!/DrGCoroner/status/423864278425141248

Many commented on his awesome socks, natch.

http://twitter.com/#!/Ravensjen/status/423865690182123520
http://twitter.com/#!/BreadNCircusUSA/status/423862032979333121

Adorable.

Others offered up some warm support in the form of mutual respect, including members of our brave military.

http://twitter.com/#!/DouglasMWaggone/status/423866649549086720
http://twitter.com/#!/captjack1037/status/423868324842184704
http://twitter.com/#!/jignrig/status/423866262632951808

Sniffle.

http://twitter.com/#!/DanCummings14/status/423861857309294592

Indeed. Honor, class and dignity, always.

He’s also a uniter. The real kind.

http://twitter.com/#!/dgmcdowell/status/423861898699083776

Truth.

Related:

George H.W. Bush made honorary member of Blue Angels [pic]

#SocksUpdate! George H.W. Bush shows off his footwear for meeting with Houston Texans’ coach

This Is What These 30 Company Slogans Would Look Like If They Were Really Honest. LOLOL.

Have you ever thought about what advertisements would say if companies were really being honest with us? Honest Slogans has, and it turns out, the truth would be hilarious. Instead of pitching us on why we should buy it (new! shiny! awesome!), ads would just tell us the truth. (Like what we all really do with Altoid tins.) Here are 30 of the best honest slogans we could find. You’ll love them because you know this stuff is true.

1.) Someone tell 8th grade boys this.

2.) Tsk, tsk, tsk!

3.) Hey, we all do it.

4.) Seriously, are their stores caves?

5.) It just ends up being like every other color.

6.) This tab? Yeah, it won’t work.

7.) So many dried out bottles…

8.) UHHH. YEP!

9.) Hey, if we’re being honest.

10.) Cheap and effective.

11.) For drunk people, that may help.

12.) Personally, I’m cool with it.

13.) Mass production is the new romance.

14.) Square bottles are for better water.

15.) You know you still want it.

16.) Sometimes, it’s just easier to read the book.

17.) Mmm, bitter water.

18.) Homeless chic is SO hot right now.

19.) They basically have naked mannequins.

20.) You know those tins rock.

21.) CURSES.

22.) Or “worked out.” Whatever.

23.) My childhood is shattered.

24.) How else are you going to be awake enough to play at 4am?

25.) LOL.

26.) According to WebMD, we’re all sick.

27.) The Earth knows you’re there, now.

28.) So bad… yet so good.

29.) Hopefully.

30.) They really emphasize the “old” spice of it.

Source: Honest Slogans “YES” to every single one of those. Especially craving Chick-Fil-A on Sundays. It’s almost magical how that happens every week. Now, share these hilarious honest slogans with others. They need to know the truth.

Debbie Wasserman Schultz gets a reality check after alleging GOP ‘diversity problem’

Tomorrow night, South Carolina Gov. Nikki Haley will deliver the Republican response following President Obama’s State of the Union speech.

Never one to miss an opportunity to throw a big helping of shamelessness into the mix, Debbie Wasserman Schultz chimed in:

Then again, that’s the same DWS who recently said “demonizing others won’t solve the problem,” so take it with a grain of salt.

Isn’t it, though?

Harry Reid asks what’s wrong with Senate; Jonah Goldberg schools with one word

http://twitter.com/#!/SenatorReid/status/356851111233208320

Harry Reid took to Twitter today and set himself up like a bowling pin with the above question, and Jonah Goldberg took advantage of the opportunity and rolled a perfect strike:

http://twitter.com/#!/JonahNRO/status/356852689046470658

If the one-word response wasn’t detailed enough to satisfy the Senate Majority Leader, here’s a two-word answer:

http://twitter.com/#!/BobGriggs/status/356851266057543681

We hope this helped answer Reid’s question.

‘I’m gonna be pissed’: ‘Feminist’ bro loses it over Julia Pierson resignation

http://twitter.com/#!/exjon/status/517407135647670272

Charles Clymer writes for the Huffington Post and PolicyMic. He is also an ardent feminist — and he takes that very seriously:

Feminism saved my life. It freed me. It allowed me to be myself. It liberated me from the idea of what a man "should" be. #HeForShe

— Charles Clymer (@cmclymer) October 1, 2014

When I say feminism saved my life, I mean that literally. It gave me hope that I wasn't restricted to rigid gender norms for men. #HeForShe

— Charles Clymer (@cmclymer) October 1, 2014

Gee, Charles. That’s all very illuminating, but what we’d really like to hear from you is your take on Secret Service director Julia Pierson’s resignation. Are you up for that?

Hells yes, he is!

If Julia Pierson is the only one to lose her job over the Secret Service scandal, I'm gonna be pissed. This strikes me as a sexist solution.

— Charles Clymer (@cmclymer) October 1, 2014

It is all too common to make woman leaders convenient scapegoats for the failure of an org. I hope that's not the case w/Julia Pierson.

— Charles Clymer (@cmclymer) October 1, 2014

Women are often blamed for their own rapes. It's not a stretch to point out they're also often blamed for the professional failures of men.

— Charles Clymer (@cmclymer) October 1, 2014

Oh, fer cryin’ out loud …

@cmclymer What are you talking about? She didn't do her job.

— Josephine (@notmyname02) October 1, 2014

@notmyname02 I'm saying that she shouldn't be the only one to lose her job.

— Charles Clymer (@cmclymer) October 1, 2014

Julia Pierson resigning is justified, but my fear is that she is being used to cover up the failures of the men below her. Not okay.

— Charles Clymer (@cmclymer) October 1, 2014

We have seen a long history of women leaders taking the fall for the failures of men. Remember Susan Rice, anyone? Explain that to me.

— Charles Clymer (@cmclymer) October 1, 2014

What’s to explain, exactly? Susan Rice sucked at her job. She didn’t need men to make her look incompetent. She did that all on her own.

I'm not asking Julia Pierson not be held responsible, I'm asking she be held to the same standard, not a higher one, than her male peers.

— Charles Clymer (@cmclymer) October 1, 2014

Women leaders are consistently held to a higher standard than men. They must be all things to all folks. That's happening here #JuliaPierson

— Charles Clymer (@cmclymer) October 1, 2014

So a guy could let people breach the door of the White House but because she's a woman? @cmclymer

— Pol (@PointlessPol) October 1, 2014

@PointlessPol No, she should absolutely be held accountable, but I fear she's the ONLY one that will bear responsibility here.

— Charles Clymer (@cmclymer) October 1, 2014

How wonderful it must be to go through life believing all your accomplishments are solely based on merit and not on having a penis.

— Charles Clymer (@cmclymer) October 1, 2014

Snort! That tweet might be our favorite.

All of #TCOT: You need to consider the idea that men, no matter how brilliant/hardworking/talented, benefit from male privilege.

— Charles Clymer (@cmclymer) October 1, 2014

@cmclymer Maybe, but your inference was that #JuliaPierson may have been treated differently because she was a woman.

— ArtistUnplugged (@pinkartgurl59) October 1, 2014

@pinkartgurl59 That's exactly what I mean. We expect women leaders to shoulder more of the blame for problems like these. Absolutely.

— Charles Clymer (@cmclymer) October 1, 2014

If we could harness the sheer intensity of intellectual dishonesty of Twitter conservatives, our nation's energy problems would be solved.

— Charles Clymer (@cmclymer) October 1, 2014

Dunno … Clymer’s proven himself to be an amazing source of natural gas.

***

Update:

Something tells us that Clymer will be the gift that keeps on giving. For a while, anyway:

‘Impotent girly rage’: HuffPo’s Charles Clymer gets his ‘feminist’ wings clipped

They Heard Unbearably Loud Sounds Coming From Their Walls. When They Cut Into It…Holy Cow!

A woman named Paula Tiberius and her husband, Richard, had a very unique problem that ended in both surprise and adorability. Before all of this took place, they discovered a cat that had given birth to a litter a few days earlier. They found one of the kittens in their garage, but when they returned, the little cutie was gone.

That’s when unbearably loud sounds started coming from the walls of their house. After hearing this for a couple of days, Paula was on a mission to figure out what was going on. That’s when all of this happened.

They finally isolated where the sound was coming from. So Richard went to work on it.

As he removed a piece of the wall, the sound got louder and louder. I’m sure you can guess what it was…

…a kitten!

They pulled the little guy out of the wall. It must’ve been stuffy in there.

Thankfully, Paula has a friend who knew exactly what to do.

First, they gave him a bath. They discovered that his entire body was covered in fleas. They were deeply buried under the fur and blood even flowed into the drain. Vets said that most kittens die when faced with such severe flea bites.

After picking the fleas out one by one, here he is – looking a bit rough but much better!

All dried off and looking like a brand new kitty.

They took a picture of the kitty’s gray patch. It looks like a heart.

Once they reached the vet, a man named Dr. Shazad took good care of him. He gave him worm treatment and some eye ointment

Finally, the kitty was left with some fine people from an organization called Petopia. He’s in great hands now, and they decided to name him Valentino because of the heart-shaped spot on his head.

Meanwhile, back at Paula and Richard’s house, the walls have finally stopped meow’ing.

Paula’s Blog / Vice-Nice.org

Share this adorable story on Facebook. Or Twitter. Or just print this page and show people on the street. 🙂

These 32 Pranks Are Equally Awesome And Awful. Tricks, Treats And Hilarity.

There’s nothing quite like a good prank. Sadly, that’s something these folks had to learn the hard way. Finding a way to bring joy to people’s lives is a great goal to have, even if it’s at someone else’s expense (even a little bit).

Maybe you can take some inspiration from their hilarious misfortune, especially #11. After all, Halloween is right around the corner.  

1.) The furniture is alive, and it’s looking for revenge.

2.) Nothing like scaring the hell out of fishermen.

3.) That will certainly wake you up.

4.) Almost artistic.

5.) “We come in peace.”

6.) “I am box monster!”

7.) Physics is awesome.

This is only the beginning. Click Next Page for more…

There Are Some Questionable Things Showing Up In These NASA Photos

Last fall, NASA released thousands of photos from every manned Apollo mission that took place between 1961 and 1972. The collection includes about 13,000 images from the NASA archives, most of which are photos of smiling astronauts living the dream in outer space.

But Redditor my_newz_account sifted through all of the pictures and came across some bizarre shots. This NASA enthusiast is certainly not a space expert, but that hasn’t stopped the Reddit community from wondering what’s going on here. I’m inclined to share their concerns.

This looks like a standard photo of the moon’s surface…except for that tiny dot up there.

In this image, there’s a slightly bigger dot hanging out in the sky.

And this one’s even larger.

What is this thing?

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Well, that object is alarmingly huge.

And then we have these tiny anomalies. They’re probably just stars, but what’s with those streaks below them?

Here’s where it all gets really strange. What’s that blue orb?

It appears in many of the images.

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Here, it looks like it’s beaming down.

Is it a shooting star…or an alien spacecraft? We might never know.

I’m going to assume that because NASA released these photos, they have a reasonable explanation for the craziness. But then again, Kipp Teague of the NASA Project Apollo Archive did say that the reason why he released them online instead of publishing them in print was because the organization was facing budget cuts at the time, so maybe it’s up to us to figure it out.